I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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