I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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