Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
