You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
