And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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