Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize