Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
