If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize
