Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
