my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
