guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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