She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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