Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
