this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
All the doctor said was why
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
