the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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