i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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