Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
