Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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