Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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