my mouth tastes like poor choices
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
