I'm lost and stupid without you.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
