so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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