And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
