I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
