Just fell off a train. Bad.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
