Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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