This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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