In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
this is an emotional support booty call
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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