I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
third nipple confirmed
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
