Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
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My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
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And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He shit in the fireplace
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