i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
