Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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