He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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