im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize