I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
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but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize