woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
