Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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