oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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