Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
