Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
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I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
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