so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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