dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Randomize
