i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
