I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize