worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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