I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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