Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
