I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
