Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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