Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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