I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.