There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
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Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
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Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.