My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
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